my immortal!

sweet sweeet memories of the long walk at marine drive with D.

its been uite some time since i felt good about myself & he is one of the reasons why i could achieve that peace of mind.

time just flies by wheneverr with him.

the discussions about life, routines, future & so many interesting topics are worthy of being written...

just a tad-bit low on memory but  trying to enjoy the passing moments.

this one was on a saturday - august 20th-2011. as usual we went for a walk after our field work n jobin accompanied us as well...

he is the one who took this pic & its blooody brilliant..

feel like updating many more pixx...n the stories behind them...would do that soon :)

buddhism - http://www.lifepositive.com/Spirit/Buddhism/Seeds_of_social_transformation102005.asp

1. One of the first things I noticed was the effect those practicing buddhism began to have on their old friends. Their attempts to cultivate skillful speech and mental states overflowed into their social interactions. They began to emerge more truly as individuals, and their friends and relatives found that they would no longer just go along with the old 'group' attitudes, but began to think and act for themselves. Their positivity became stronger and they were more able to give support in difficulties.
2. I have found invariably that those who are following a spiritual practice through Buddhism avoid the two common extreme reactions to caste discrimination and violence. Not only are they less likely to be inflamed, but they are also unlikely to go to the other extreme of being cowed and intimidated. They are able to take a more individual and creative approach to their centuries-old oppression.
3. They understood from their own experience that they could change their mental states through dhamma practice. Although many did not meditate regularly, they would go away changed. They would carry with them confidence, born out of personal experience, that the dhamma worked, that it did bring about changes in the mind. They would give up old unhelpful practices such as alcohol abuse, and would become more sensitive to the way they treated others, especially women, and to social practices such as dowry.
4. With a confidence born out of their dhamma practice, they do not feel overwhelmed by, and passive to, difficult situations, but on the contrary feel empowered. This is proof that spiritual practice does bring about not only individual change, but can also lead to social change.
   

To err is human!

Human beings are weird..I could have used fancy adjectives to describe them but being weird suits them the best.

we have so many privileges around us but blame it on the upbringing or blame it on the ignorance on our end we tend ignore them.

luxury is defined in terms of the money the person has, property and the worth of an individual based on the assets. people dont value time anymore. every1has the "KISKE PAAS TIME HAI" attitude.

  ehe im the one to talk..i lost touch with myself completely as well, tanks to love and its atrocities..but its during this time i realised how important it is to remove those 15 minutes for yourself. it could be in a train or bus or walk or catching tht much needed sleep..whatever makes you complete is what will help you realise the importance small small things in life.

its so easy to err about the things that we dont have and so difficult to cherish what we have. life is pretty simple if u come to think of it, just try filling life in every moment and you'll know how great your life is.

problems will come and go, just like my ferrero rochers box, but they wont stay for long..you'll find a solution at one point of time or the other. the solution could be found after speaking to someone or writing about it or just thinkin about alternatives...are we reallly so busy complaining that we have no time left to ponder over things any more.

i guess the answer to this question is pretty clear, its jst we've managed to clogg our minds with shitttttttt....

flush the shitt down the drain n ur good to go.

ive made a conscious decision to avoid complaining..i sincerely have, but will the demons in my life let me be positive???

All is ask for is acceptance

I am basically someone who doesnt care much about whatever the hell is going on around me. some people define what should be important for me and i always wonder why should i listen to these some people.

At the end of the day, the only principle that you can follow is ''TO EACH HIS OWN''.
Thats what i'm ll about and thats why people at home fail to understand me!
I'm using the term fail as even though i want them to understand me there is this certain blockage in their minds that doesnt let them understand who i really am and what i really want.

You, on the other hand, accepted me for who i was and just as you did so ,i wouldnt mind changing for you at all.

I wouldnt mind listening to whatever you say and i would love to blindly follow it.just because you understand me for who i really am.

i tried to have some decent conversations with people at home and i failed as they weren't really interested in what i felt.I tried to tell YOU about my friends and you were glad to hear me and enjoyed talkin to me.

Discussing what life is all about or what i feel about ceratin issues is certainly fun with you as you listen, you really do listen to what i say, but when it comes to ''my family'' i'm glad im a closed book in front of them which they are least interested in.

I dont hear a lot of ''i was this,'' i was that'', ''i would have been this, or'' you could have been that'' from u...but all i hear is that its alright to be who you are, if ever you stumble i'm their to catch your back and tell you where and why are you doing the wrong things.

i'm not very good with talkin on the phone but i can surely go on typing or writing my feelings whenever i wish to..and i felt to do so for you, JUST FOR YOU.

the girl who likes to stay in her room woudlnt mind going out shopping with you even if she has to get up from her comfortable cozy chair which helps her to be in an altogether different world of reality that she considers as beautiful and not the reality that others want her to believe!

thank you for touching my heart!
it surely is made up of stone but bits of it do break from time to time for special people like you!

All i ask is to keep this beautiful memory of tea and the conversation and what i felt about when i came to your place the other day between us, as people who consider themselves as my well -wishers wont really understand what i feel.

All is ask for is acceptance and you gave it to me, all i ask for is some more quality time with you where i can just be myself and you let me be, would surely come meet you again, whenever that is,and til then i pray for you and your well being and hope to cherish such moments for life!

love,
pragati.

(for meenakshi aunty)

''WHAT WENT WRONG''

TELLING YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU WAS RATHER THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OR THE BEST THING THAT I’VE DONE TILL NOW..
ITS DIFFICULT TO DECIDE THE FATE NOW AS ONLY TIME CAN MAKE THIS DECISION FOR ME!

ITS FUNNY HOW THE THE TERM LOVE CAN BRAINWASH YOU COMPLETELY AND TAKE U ONTO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LANE THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU WILL NEVERR WALK…

I THOUGHT LOVING YOU WAS AS GOOD AS A NEW BEGINNING A NEW START FOR ME TO GET RID OF MY FEELINGS THAT I WAS STRUGGLING WITH FOR THE LONGEST TIME..
I CERTAINLY WAS UNAWARE OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF WHATEVER HAPPENED..
AT FIRST, TREATING YOU LIKE A CHILD AND GIVING IN ALL YOUR NEEDS WAS MY LOVE, THEN IT BECAME MY PRIORITY AND THEN A COMPULSION IN ORDER TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING WAS STABLE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.

HOW WAS I TO KNOW I WAS THE FOOLISH ONE TRYING TO MAKE THINGS WORK WHEN ALL I HAD TO DO WAS WALK AWAY AT THE RIGHT TIME WHEN CHANCE WAS BESTOWED UPON ME!!
AND THEN WHEN I DID WALK AWAY…ALL I HAD WAS BITTER FEELINGS LEFT FOR YOU…FEELINGS SO BITTER THAT I DOUBT IF TIME CAN HEAL THEM.

ALL I WANTED WAS SOME ACCEPTANCE AND ALL I FOUND WAS DENIAL.
ONLY IF YOU WERE BRAVE ENOUGH TO ACCEPT YOUR MISTAKE AND I WAS COURAGEOUS ENOUGH TO SLAM IT ON YOUR FACE!
ALL THIS WHILE I KEPT THINKIN THAT ALL I HAVE TO DO IS STAY CALM,LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND ME AND MOVE ON….BUT AS YOU AND ME WERE A TEAM ITS HARD TO LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND AND THINK AS IF IT WERENT MY FAULT AT ALL…
I HOLD MYSELF RESPONSIBLE FOR BEING MADLY IN LOVE, FOR IGNORING THE FACTS AND ACCEPTING WHAT LIED BENEATH…
FOR POURING MY HEART OUT AND NOT LEAVING ANY FOR LATER WHEN YOU AND ME NEEDED IT!
I WISH JUST ONCE YOU WOULD COME AND ASK,’’WHAT WENT WRONG’’
I WISH JUST ONCE YOU WOULD ADMIT THAT YOU WERE AN ASS AND YOU’RE SORRY FOR IT!
THEN AGAIN I KEEP THINKIN…ALL I CAN DO IS WISH FOR THINGS AND NOT REALLY SEE THEM HAPPEN..FOR EVEN THOUGH I WANTED TO TELL YOU..YOU DIDN’T LET ME..AND EVEN THOUGH I WANT YOU TO TELL ME YOU’LL NEVER TELL ME..

LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME THE TRUE MEANING OF LOVE BEING BBLIND…
I JUST HOPE IVE LEARNED FROM MY MISTAKES AND WONT FALL IN LOVE THE WAY I DID WITH YOU AGAIN EVERR!!

I KEEP THINKIN HOW TO ERASE THE THOUGHT THAT LEAD TO ALL THIS, AS THAT ONE THOUGHT ITSELF IS THE CAUSE OF IT ALL..

YOU WERE KIND ENOUGH TO SURPRISE ME AND MAKE MY DAY SO SPECIAL..ONLY IF U HADNT RUINED YOUR SPECIAL DAY BY REPEATING THE THOUGHT THAT CAUSED ALL THE TROUBLE.

THAT WAS THE DAY WHEN I REALISED..YOU WERE THE BIGGES T MISTAKE…AND I REALLY CANT UNDO ANYTHING NOW..

IM IN LOVE…A PHASE THAT IM REALLY ENJOYING AS OF NOW..BUT THE BITTERNESS THAT YOU’VE GIVEN ME STAYS AND CONTINUES TO GIVE TROUBLE TO THE LIVES OF THE ONES CLOSE TO YOU…
I JUST WISH THEY COULD UNDERSTAND MY BACKANSWERS AND MY RUDE BEHAVIOUR…AS ITS ALL JUST FRUSTRATION INSIDE ME COMING OUT THE WAY IT REALLY SHOULNDT..

IM CERTAIN ABOUT ONE THING NOW…

YOU’LL ALWAYS BE THE ONE WHO HURT ME THE MOST AND I’LL ALWAYS BE THE ONE WAITING FOR YOUR “WHAT WENT WRONG” !!

Naming a relationship.

bestfriend
boyfriend
girlfriend
love of my life
BFF...

the most common tags we use in our daily lives...we all have a child inside us who needs protection from the so called problems that we create..and we give these tags to the people in our lives who we assume are going to help us through thick and thin..

are we seriouslyy tht incapable of solving any problem at hand without taking the help of any of these people..

lately, i have a feelin that all of our problems arise because of these relationships.
we give a certain tag to a particular relationship and then expect them to fulfill the role theior tags assume they should..

a bestfriend has to hear all ur problems has to know each and every minute detail...if they dont....how can u still call them their best friend? my question is y nott...
i fail to accept the fact tht my best friends need to kno each and every thgt of mine through the passing moments...but yet at heart...they mean the world to me..

the love of my life may not necessarily be in love with me...but what really matters is do i still love him?? if i do...y stop because he is suppose to love me in return..
so wht if he doesntt..
the passin has died inside him...but its stilll alive inside me...
wht do i do with it???? just ignore it because he doesnt feel the same way...or keep those feelings alive and keep spreading my love beyond his expectations..

best friends forever....not necessarily!!!

i maybe ur best friend nowww...i may meet u everyday now...but just because all of this comes to an end...and i dont meet u daily...

does tht lead to being a bad friend? tht we arent BFF'S anymore..

naming a relationship is very tricky..
lately,one of my best friends turned into my boyfriend...
and the transition can be painful yet joyous...

painful because suddenlyyy...the possesiveness, the jealousy, the need creeps in...
joyous because ur with a friend whos always been there...